workshop: class 1; communicatin

The series of 4 classes will be entitled:

Bringing Out The Very Best in Parents; Bringing Out The very best in Children.

Class #1.

Communication:

Rephrase:

Instead of:

1. No; Say: Yes, with a qualifier, of when, how, and
what needs to be done first. For example,
Can I have desert? A parent could say; yes
you have eaten a specific amount of food
first. Children are concrete thinkers.
When a child hears the word no; they automa-
tically think that their request isn't going
to occur at all. A yes, with a qualifier:
with a specific time, date etc, of when the
requested event will take place; can prevent
an upset episode from occuring.

2. Asking a child; Say: For example, We are going to be having
dinner in 5 minutes. You will need to be
turning off the T.V., was your hands and
start getting ready for dinner. When a
parent asks a child are you getting ready
for dinner? That is an opened ended
qustion. Children do better with closed
statemnents of giving directives.

Would you like to:
Asking a child to do
somethin gives the child
the idea that he/she has a
choice.

3. Giving a child too many Say: You can wear either your blue
shirt of your yellow shirt.
Providing a child with choices
gives the child some feeling of
control with in a set structure.
Giving a child too many choices
may have the child feeling
confused and overwhelmed with
what to do. Chidren may become
frustrated and irritable with out
the abilty to express themselves.
instructions, with too many
choices, For example, Instead of
saying to your child; It is time to
get dressed now, pick something out of
your closet. Then lets go.

4. A yelling tone of voice use: Use a calm, dirctive, authoritive,
This is how it is, tone of voice.
For example, Bedtime is at 8:30,
You need to pick up your toys and
brush your teeth. Which one do
you want to do first. A set
specific routine with specific
times to it mahy cause a greater
chance of the desired event to
occur. For ex. If a child is
more of a morning person than a
night person then; a specific
event such as homework could be
done in the quietness of the a.m.

5. Body Language language:
such as; finger pointing,
crossed arms, being in too
close of proximity of the
child can cause a child to
fell judged, as being singled
out, as if they did something
wrong, on the dwfensive, and
angry Keep your body language open and
inviting. Have a warm expression on
your face instead of an angry one.
Children pick up on negative energy.
When a parent is calm, and
authoritative a child is more likely
to listen. Negative energy from the
parent may bring out negative
emotions from the child; positive
caring energy may bring out positive
energy from the child. Body language
and tone of voice may b ring out
a desired reponse or a negative
undesired response.

That is all for now, until next time;

Marie Zajac CPC
Parent and Youth Coach